President Bush gestures to US troops to 'slow down' as they retreat.
Walk, Don't Run
In Alabama today, President Bush said
that "the enemy in Iraq believes America will run...America will never run." As casualties mount, the President has announced that "coalition" troops will only be allowed to walk very slowly away from Iraq.
"I'll never forget the lessons of my summer swim classes as a kid, any more than I'll forget the lessons of September the 11th, 2001," Mr. Bush recalled. "There was a big sign by the pool that said 'No Running'. Those rules tested my resolve, but they were for my own good." The President requested that the troops line up in an orderly fashion, with no "cuts and cuts back" or other rule bending.
"Our retreat from Iraq will be much more dignified than the way the cheese-eating French left Vietnam." US armed forces have also been instructed to avoid eye contact with the enemy, as that only gets them all riled up.
[Update: added a (better) picture, caption, and did a couple other tidying operations. Hopefully to good effect.]