So a few glasses of Shiraz later, and a nice warm bath with some lavender oil to recover the from chilly, rainy walk from dinner, and I am ready to pronounce the winners of the Beatnik Joe Caption Contest.
But first, since I am a philosopher, a little about the selection process. In earlier contests, I have employed the services of my faithful dog, Cairo. Alas, I am stuck in the garden spot of Marlboro, MA, right now and cannot avail myself of her services. Thus I rely on the random firing of synapses in my brain, scrambled by the introduction of alcohol, plus a fair bit of quantum mechanics.
As a reminder, the picture in question was this:
As a further reminder, I conduct these contests with all due respect to the office of President of the United States. The current officeholder, on the other hand, I give no respect1
With a couple dozen fine entries, this was an incredibly hard decision. But I eventually made the choices and take full responsibility for the outcome2
; there are 3 prizes for the inaugural Beatnik Joe Caption Contest
, awarded thus:
1) The $7.00 Amazon gift certificate goes to:
Hey! Look over here!
Forget all those dead soldiers...
We've got three new schools!
2) The 1st runner-up $5.00 certificate goes to:
Meet my friend Harvey.
He's my closest advisor
3) The 2nd runner-up $5.00 cert goes to:
lea-p (I need your e-mail address!
"Mona Lisa, Mo
na Lisa, men have named you."
he crooned, noisomely.
Honorable mention: Charles 2 (dude, the haiku was great, as was your enthusiasm); emal (I love the Hokey Pokey!); Diane (almost our first 2-time winner, with that extremely funny Bremer bit).
And as always, you all are winners. Jeebus, it was so hard to fight against my liberal tendency to expand the winner's circle, but my inner-Republican said no.
Anywayz, I hope you all enjoyed playing, reading each other's entries, and just dissing the powers that be. If it was as unproductive as I'd intended, that will make Beatnik Joe3
1 - On my trip down to Marlboro, I saw somebody putting up a big banner near Purmort, NH (I-89, Exit 16): "Proven Leadership: Vote Bush/Cheney 2004." I almost had a car accident.
2 - In contrast to our Buck-passer-in-Chief.
3 - BTW, screw you, Beatnik Joe.
[Update: here are the entries from the Honorable Mentions, which I felt should also get special attention:
* Charles 2
All these men are mine
cannon fodder, one and all
wives and children wail.
Put your left hand in.
Take your left hand out. You do
the Hokey Pokey...
: Bremer photo
Japan? We welcome them. But
they are a bit short.