"Winning" The "War" On "Terror"

In a speech frequently punctuated by "air quotes", Attorney General John Ashcroft today announced a new initiative called "Five Freedoms". "What we plan to do is protect the American people from 'terror' by granting them 'freedoms' unheard of in a 'free' society. These include the 'freedom' to have their phones tapped, the 'freedom' to turn over their financial records to us, the 'freedom' to have their homes searched without being notified, the 'freedom' from Constitutional rights and the 'freedom' from calico cats. With these 'freedoms' we will 'win' this 'war'," he said. Mr. Ashcroft has been the opening act this summer for the Jackson 5 on their 48-state reunion Victory Tour.

ntodd

[Update: vaara over at Silt has made a slight adjustment to the pic.]  ¶ 10:47 AM