Howard Dean, Superstar
Staffer:
Good McAuliffe
The council waits for you
The DLC and Clinton
Are here for you
Terry McAuliffe:
Ah gentlemen, you know why we are here
We've not much time, and quite a problem here
Crowd Outside:
Howie! Superstar!
Chris Lehane:
Listen to that howling mob
Of blockheads in the street
A million or two online
And the nation wants to meet
All:
He is dangerous! He is dangerous!
Crowd:
Howard Dean, Superstar
Tell us that you are who they say you are
Staffers:
He is dangerous, dangerous
That man is in town right now
To whip up some support
A fundraising mission
That I think we must abort
He is dangerous
Crowd:
Howard Dean, Superstar
Democrats:
He is dangerous
Look McAuliffe
Labor endorses him
Quick McAuliffe
Let's go negative
Terry McAuliffe:
No wait, we need a more permanent solution to our problem.
Chris Lehane:
What then to do about Howard of Burlington?
Fiscal conservative, pilgrim or fool
Staffer:
Only meetups, and mousepads, shoe leather, and hope
Terry McAuliffe:
One thing I'll say for him, Howie is cool
Chris Lehane:
We dare not leave him to his own devices
His net-savvy fans will get out of control
Staffer:
But how can we stop him, his glamour increases
By leaps every minute, he's top of the polls
Terry McAuliffe:
I see bad things arising
The base nominates him
And the GOP wins
I see loss and depression
We'll lose the election because of one man
Loss and depression
Because of one man
Democrats:
What can we do about this Howie Mania?
How can we deal with the Governor Doc?
Where do we start with a man who is bigger
Than George* was when George did his anti-war thing?
Terry McAuliffe:
Fools! You have no perception
He's got a great website
We need better spin
We must smear him completely
So like George before him
This Howard can't win
For the sake of the party
This Howard can't win
Can't win, can't win
This Howard can't win
For the sake of the party
This Howard can't win...
The really obvious follow up to this is
Hosanna, but I leave it as an exercise for the reader to figure it out.
ntodd
* George McGovern, not George Bush, just in case anybody doesn't get that.