Dohiyi Mir
    In Which NTodd Says His Peace

Sunday, November 09, 2003
Go to the new DM blog.


Howard Dean, Superstar


Staffer:
Good McAuliffe
The council waits for you
The DLC and Clinton
Are here for you

Terry McAuliffe:
Ah gentlemen, you know why we are here
We've not much time, and quite a problem here

Crowd Outside:
Howie! Superstar!

Chris Lehane:
Listen to that howling mob
Of blockheads in the street
A million or two online
And the nation wants to meet

All:
He is dangerous! He is dangerous!

Crowd:
Howard Dean, Superstar
Tell us that you are who they say you are

Staffers:
He is dangerous, dangerous
That man is in town right now
To whip up some support
A fundraising mission
That I think we must abort
He is dangerous

Crowd:
Howard Dean, Superstar

Democrats:
He is dangerous
Look McAuliffe
Labor endorses him
Quick McAuliffe
Let's go negative

Terry McAuliffe:
No wait, we need a more permanent solution to our problem.

Chris Lehane:
What then to do about Howard of Burlington?
Fiscal conservative, pilgrim or fool

Staffer:
Only meetups, and mousepads, shoe leather, and hope

Terry McAuliffe:
One thing I'll say for him, Howie is cool

Chris Lehane:
We dare not leave him to his own devices
His net-savvy fans will get out of control

Staffer:
But how can we stop him, his glamour increases
By leaps every minute, he's top of the polls

Terry McAuliffe:
I see bad things arising
The base nominates him
And the GOP wins
I see loss and depression
We'll lose the election because of one man
Loss and depression
Because of one man

Democrats:
What can we do about this Howie Mania?
How can we deal with the Governor Doc?
Where do we start with a man who is bigger
Than George* was when George did his anti-war thing?

Terry McAuliffe:
Fools! You have no perception
He's got a great website
We need better spin
We must smear him completely
So like George before him
This Howard can't win
For the sake of the party
This Howard can't win
Can't win, can't win
This Howard can't win
For the sake of the party
This Howard can't win...

The really obvious follow up to this is Hosanna, but I leave it as an exercise for the reader to figure it out.

ntodd

* George McGovern, not George Bush, just in case anybody doesn't get that. 
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A non-violent, counter-dominant, left-liberal, possibly charismatic, quasi anarcho-libertarian Quaker's take on politics, volleyball, and other esoterica.

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